


The touch of a hand

by OlicityIBelieve



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Or the absence of touch, Season 5 spec, Touch, and fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 22:39:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10728729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OlicityIBelieve/pseuds/OlicityIBelieve
Summary: Snippets based on scenes from 5x17 to 5x23.Sometimes, the only thing you need is someone to hold your hand.





	The touch of a hand

As soon as she saw him entering the lair, she had to fight the desire to touch him. Her palm itched instantly at the sight of his injuries. She was dying to feel his skin warm under her fingers, to feel his pulse radiating through her palm, to sense the life in him. Blood covered his chest and she wanted nothing but to clean his wounds and assess the extent of the damages.

More than the physicality of this need, she wished she could caress his forehead and make the sadness disappear from his face. Seeing him so tortured, physically and mentally, pushed her restraints, the ones she promised herself not to break. Their physicality was always so intense. Correction. _Used to be_ so intense.

After that dreadful day and incident in the lair a few months ago, they had agreed on putting an end to it. No more physicality. No more intensity. Despite this set limit, she knew it remained both their weakness and their strength.

Oliver talked but her mind barely registered what he was saying. She couldn’t take her eyes away from the burnt skin, from the open wound on his shoulder or the bruised wrists. Her eyes lingered for a moment where his bratva tattoo used to be. Her brain betrayed her and she saw herself tracing the pattern of the tattoo again and again as she laid against him in bed, as he got out of the shower, as he was done working out… She could still draw it out of memory despite all the months they spent apart.

As she took a step towards him, he backed off, her proximity unbearable at this very second. Without a word, he headed towards the medical supplies. He wouldn’t allow her to help him. He would not permit any contact between them. She understood he needed the distance but she needed the contact like she needed air. She knew she wouldn’t get it from him. She had lost this privilege a long time ago.

Reluctantly she headed back to her computers, giving him time and space. As her fingertips were still longing the texture of his skin, she clenched her fists tightly for a second, fighting the tears that prickled her eyes. Tears of sadness. Tears of anger. Tears of frustration. Tears of love.

* * *

He wished he could take her hand. Or grab her by the shoulders. Or place his hands on her face and force her to look at the fear in his eyes. Now wasn’t the time though. She was about to make a huge mistake. For him. For all of them. Breaking their unspoken agreement wouldn’t help him reasoning her.

“Don’t do this” he had tried a few seconds earlier. From the way she had looked at him, he had realized he had already lost this battle. He knew her by heart. He had learned the way of her eyes, the language of her body. He couldn’t let her put her life in danger and yet he had to accept the decision wasn’t his. He could only hope that she would recognize the threat she was exposing herself to.

“You’ll have to stop me” she answered, ending the discussion.

_Damn it Felicity_ was the first thing that came into his mind. She was as stubborn as he was.

The frustration of not being able to stop her made him rub his fingers, deeply buried in his pockets. She knew he wouldn’t stop her as much as he knew it himself.

They both stayed still for what felt like an eternity, the tension between them stretching every second painfully. Nothing changed. Not their determination, not their conviction, not their decisions.

He could lose her tonight. He’d tried to push the idea to the darkest corner of his mind but the picture of her lifeless body kept coming back to haunt him every second. He dreamt of stopping her, burying his face in her neck, breathing her sweet perfume on her skin and whispering words in her ear to convince her to stay.

He was aware this was a mirage, a fantasy of his desperate mind. He realized that even if he was allowed such closeness with her, the Felicity he knew and loved would never give up that easily. The Felicity he had been engaged to wasn’t any different from the one he was facing right now. Smart, fierce, committed. She would never give up on her ideas because he would beg her to.

She headed towards the door. His eyes didn’t follow her. He couldn’t watch her walk away from him again.

He thought watching her go through that door a few months ago was excruciating.

Listening to her walk away from him now was nothing in comparison.

* * *

Felicity was mad. Oh damn, she was so mad. This whole situation was just ridiculous! How can the one who built the bunker got trapped _inside_ the bunker? And it was not even one! It was TWO! The two of them trapped in their own bunker. Seriously?!

Felicity turned violently on her chair, unable to find any solution. The heat was unbearable. She couldn’t even think. She was nothing but sweat and frustration. Her systems were down, the power was down. Nothing was responding. Not even her own brain.

She snorted at the irony of the situation. She was trapped. In the bunker. With Oliver.

For months, they stuck to their rule and didn’t invade each other’s personal space. Now, there was no personal space anymore. It was just the two of them. In one room. And no way out. Well. One possible way out. The only possible way out seemed to be the elevator shaft.

_“Hold on to me tight”_

_“I imagined you saying that under different circumstances. Very platonic circumstances”_

Oh no. No, no, no, brain. No way. No way to get there at this very moment. Felicity shook her head, trying to get rid of the reminiscence of his arms around her waist.

_His arms around her waist._

Oh god. Her brain was really going there. She swore to herself she would forget that night. That night when everything changed between them. A night both a blessing and a curse.

She leaned against her desk, her elbows digging into the hard surface as her hands covered her face, the memories overwhelming her senses.

_His arms around her waist. He managed to catch her as she tried to attempt the salmon ladder. A very bold move. A very bold and silly move. She tried and failed. She got stuck up there, unable to move. When her arms had given up on her, he was there to catch her._

_With coincidentally happened to result in her in his arms…_

_Their faces really close to each other. Very close. Too close._

_He only had to whisper “hey” for the two of them to give up. The restraints they put on themselves just disappeared, washed out by the need of touching each other, kissing each other, exploring each other._

_One could have thought that their reunion would have been rushed, quick. It wasn’t. The intensity burned within them slowly, passionately. They took their time to please each other, feel each other, reconnecting with the familiarity of one another._

_They smiled as they kissed, they moaned as they touched, they laughed as they pleasured each other. At all time, their fingers were intertwined, never breaking the contact. For a stolen moment, they caressed this blessing that was their former life together._

_They experienced once again the pleasure of love, the power of connection, the simplicity of joy, the chance of happiness._

_Except a moment of true pleasure wasn’t meant to fix any problem. As they were both coming down from their bliss, the scent of each other still warming their skins, they made the decision to never do this again. If a single touch was their weakness, then they had to stop.  They agreed on respecting each other’s space and avoiding contact at all cost. A very painful cost…_

“Felicity?”

Felicity snapped from her reverie at the sound of his voice. He was standing by the elevator, ready to start climbing back to the surface.

“It’s time”

She nodded back at Oliver, uneasy. She stood up, wiped her hands on her jeans and headed towards him.

She could do this. They had to. They were stronger than this.

Stronger than Chase. Stronger than a stupid elevator shaft. A very tight, hot space they would have to share for God knew how long.

“Frack”

She was doomed.

* * *

He’d never thought he would find himself on the island again. Especially not with her. Not with them. Chase had tried to bring him to his knees, breaking his spirit, his inner strength. As smart and dangerous as he was, Adrian couldn’t predict that attacking the ones he loved the most wouldn’t make him weaker. It only made Oliver stronger. He had found in his friends – no, his family – a force he didn’t suspect. An unfaltering strength that was still running in him after several days on this island. Three long and strenuous days spent chasing and hiding. Working on a way to survive and a way to kill. Both preys and predators. At least, they were all together now. Together but not safe. With both Chase and Wilson on their tracks, rest was a luxury they couldn’t afford if they wanted to make it out of the island alive.

If John and Thea were physically more inclined to absorb the harshness of their environment, Felicity was showing serious signs of exhaustion on top of the injuries she suffered when held captive by Adrian. She wouldn’t complain, she would keep up. Her acclimation to the island was still surprising him. Her beautiful mind was constantly trying to figure out a way out – or a way in. She stunned him by how quickly her intelligence translated into a more practical way to survive. However, she looked drained from all energy at the end of the day, weakened by her wounds and days of tracking.

The four of them had managed to access one of Oliver’s hideouts, a remote and hardly accessible cavity in the mountain, discovered on his last months on the island. They needed the rest and this was the only place Oliver knew was secure and could provide them with a few hours of rest as well as some water. The place was rudimentary. Only stone and darkness. One access in and out. But sheltered and big enough for John, Thea, Oliver and Felicity to stay together and recover.

Oliver heard Felicity shift on the floor, right next to him. Her face was away from him, her back stiff in the darkness of the night. He glanced quickly at John and Thea who took the first round.

Both of them were sitting on the floor, leaning against the damp stone wall of the cave, still, fully focused on any sign of activity outside the cave.

Felicity shifted again, letting a painful moan out in the process, followed by a short breath. There was no doubt to Oliver’s ear that she was in pain. Something he couldn’t bear the idea of. Now wasn’t the time for physical boundaries or fear of breaking the rules.

He shifted slightly towards her before placing a careful hand on her shoulder.

“Felicity” he whispered, hoping he didn’t wake her up by mistake.

She stiffened at the sound of his voice more than at his proximity. She closed her eyes, another wave of pain hitting her body, numbing her mind. She couldn’t talk, couldn’t think. She just wanted it to stop, them to be all back home safely and the burdening feeling of fear to disappear from her whole self. She heard him calling her name again. She anchored her mind on his voice, the familiar and warm feeling of the sound an unsuspected soothing relief.

Without opening her eyes, she turned to him, seeking the sound of his voice again. The movement sent another shot of pain radiating through her entire body, forcing her to crawl into a ball.

She just wanted him to talk again. To take away the pain.

His hand cupped her face, gently, barely touching her. She let a moan out. It felt so good. The warmth of his hand. She missed it so much. She knew she allowed herself to feel like this only because she didn’t have any strength left in her at this very moment. She couldn’t fight him. She didn’t want to fight him.

His hand travelled from her cheek to her forehead.

“You’re freezing Felicity” He groaned. “Come here”

Gently but firmly, he pulled her towards him, guiding her in the crook of his neck as he layed back on the floor. He wrapped his arms around her, stroking her back with one hand while the other found her hair.

“Breathe Felicity”

He could feel her tension, the pain radiating from her body. She probably had broken ribs but her hypothermia was the first of his concerns. She was so cold against him, so quiet, so rigid.

“It’s gonna be okay Felicity. I promise you. It’s gonna be okay” he whispered against her hair before kissing the top of her head. She started shaking in his arms, the tension of the last days ravaging her muscles like an open dam.

There was nothing to be done, nothing that could be done to help her. Only holding her. Being here for her. Oliver kept whispering words of comfort, caressing her back and her hair for what felt like an eternity. He believed this was helping somehow. If it wasn’t, it did help him. Feeling her alive in his arms was at least a small victory. They made it alive today. Not the biggest of victories but something to hold on to.

“Felicity, open your eyes” he requested.

Felicity didn’t have much left in her but that, at least she could do. She left the cocoon of his neck and lift her head to his. When she opened her eyes, their noses were almost touching, his face so close so him she could feel his breath on her skin. Her eyes stared at his lips, hoping for the sound of his voice to soothe her again. She must be delirious she thought quickly. If she was, she didn’t want to leave this state ever again.

“It’s going to be fine. We… We’re going to be fine” she heard him say.

She glanced up to look at him. Her eyes locked with his. She missed his eyes. She missed truly looking at him. She missed letting her guard down and just being herself around him. She relaxed a bit under his look, her lids now heavy. As she was fighting sleep, she felt him kissing the tip of her nose. A smile appeared on her face as she leaned back against him and let his breathing rock her to sleep.

They were going to be fine. Just fine.


End file.
